Brumbridge finds his Liverpool experience to be less than first class

Dennis Brumbridge expects the best and he has recently discovered Twitter. We publish Dennis’ demands to real companies and their genuine responses.

Last weekend work sent me on a two day conference in Liverpool. I had heard worrying things about the place… high crime rates, women wearing hair rollers when popping to Tesco and reports of a dangerous bogie man called Purple Aki. Turns out these things were just three tiny tips of one giant iceberg.

Things started badly even before I’d arrived when I discovered my outward train journey from London was standard class. And then when I arrived in Liverpool I quickly became a victim of their own train system.

Then I remembered about the funeral of their late celebrity ambassador…

Instead of accepting 15 minutes of dead time as an acceptable concept in life I got a taxi to the hotel. I then sought out a takeaway where I encountered severe communication problems.

Then I realised I had perhaps made a mistake…

Except it was terrible Chow Mein. I spent the next two days with my bottom on the toilet and my face in the sink. I missed the entire conference.

By the time Sunday had come I was a broken shell of a man and hungrier than anyone has ever been. All that kept me going was the knowledge my return journey to London was First Class and that I would have a hearty meal waiting for me. I tweeted this to @VirginTrains.

After clicking the link I saw the ‘reduced service menu’. I very nearly fainted when I saw what was included.

Unbelievable. But I calmed myself and responded reasonably and politely.

Then I had an even better idea.

(The Burger King is in the station so this was hardly an imposition.)

They didn’t respond.

Despite a noble apology from me there was still no reply. When as the train started chugging out of the station it failed to muffle the sound of my own belly rumbling. I made them aware I was on the train. And very hungry.