How to pretend you like your Manager

My Manager revealed his car had been stolen. The thought of him waiting in the rain for a bus like the rest of us amused me. My smirk turned into a low chuckle.

My laughter had revealed my true feelings, which I must keep hidden. I blamed my prescription painkillers. He moaned, filling out lengthy insurance documents. Barely managing to hide my smirk, I said, “Some people don’t respect other people’s property”, as I forced my biro through my mouse mat.

I create vague commitments outside of work to avoid my Managers “work drinks”, without revealing my distaste for him. Pottery making classes are my latest creation. I sometimes “feel so bad” about missing these drinks, that I suggest drinks on another night. Always a night I know he’ll be busy on. You must feign the impression that you’re a ‘company man’ and you value your Manager’s company.

Some Managers would rather be respected than liked. Don’t bother pretending to like these jobsworths- they don’t have feelings. Say “I don’t like you, but I do respect you.” He’ll like that.

I regularly get my Manager hot drinks, to get out of the office. He doesn’t take sugar, so I pop some in. Salt and vinegar too as he particularly irritated me with a pep talk earlier. I pretended my drink tasted awful too, and spat it all over his insurance documents.

I kept my smirk hidden as I apologised profusely and went to get him another drink. I added Brown Sauce this time.

Next Monday: How to survive a team building day

Written by Martin Stocks | @Stocks1986

Martin runs our collaborative story High Society. Read our latest piece here.

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