10 things that will make your life easier
I frequently hear men and women complain about dating and relationships. They complain about how everything constantly goes wrong and how he or she is just like all the others when often, the problem is they treat them just like all the others thus creating the very monster they fear.
Whether you are young, old, gay, straight or someone in between it all I have something to share with you so here it is; a list of 10 things I think would make everyone’s lives a whole lot easier:
1. Be honest – I cannot stress this enough. If you are honest with yourself AND others, you will life sails smoother.
2. Treat each person as an individual – Just because one person was a certain way, it does not mean that the next will be the same so when you respond to person B as if they were person A, all you are doing is increasing the chances of them becoming person A for their person B.
3. Be respectful – Manners costs nothing, you do not have to be rude to get your point across.
4. Think! – This accounts for a number of things. Think about the way in which you present yourself and the way in which that may be received. If this perception differs from what you want people to think or worse still, from what you actually are then stop doing it. Before you assess another person, take the time to think about you and assess yourself first. Too often people go and mess up the mind and heart of an otherwise stable individual, because they didn’t sort out their own crap beforehand.
5. Abolish fear – It sounds silly but seriously, a lot of the ways in which both men and women act toward each other is created by fear. Fear of rejection, heartbreak, of being alone, or of themselves. Do not be afraid; just live your life. Act and react. You see someone you like, smile at them. Go and talk to them. If they do not respond in the way you want, it is ok the world will not crumble around you.
6. Stop being so judgmental – This is actually in regards to other people AND yourself. All that time you spend telling yourself you’re ugly, you’re nothing, you’re this, you’re that is time wasted and it is time that someone else will have to waste trying to convince you of why they care for you so much. This is time that you could spend enjoying each other’s company. Oh, and if someone rejects you, don’t go foetal and start thinking to yourself ‘what is wrong with me?’ You’re just not what that person wants, big deal. There are around 7 BILLION people on this place we call home. Need I say more?
7. Be aware of your surroundings – This doesn’t mean be on the look out for ninjas lurking in the shadows or the awakening of a zombie horde, it just means be mindful of the company you keep. Do not surround yourself with people who cannot be honest with you, people who cannot be happy for you or people who are angry at the world. That shit is infectious if your mind is not strong enough to deal with it and the last thing you need, when your confidence has been shaken is to be with people who will perpetuate your negative feelings. This doesn’t even mean you need optimism because I am not an optimist. Surround yourself with people whose primary functionality is that of a realistic mindset then you are in good company because these people will tell it like it is.
8. Take chances – This does sort of belong in the realms of abolishing fear but I think it is important enough to warrant its own standing. Sometimes people are very reluctant about taking chances and they don’t realize how damaging this is to their lives. You have only one life, so while you have it you better bloody live it. Take chances and make use of opportunities. The worst that can happen is it goes wrong and you learn from it.
9. Appreciate – That surely seems to be a very vague thing to say, and I suppose it is but what it means is understand that as bad as things may seem they could always be worse and this is something to take great solace in. It also means to appreciate each other. A little appreciation can go a long way.
10. Communicate – Again, this is one of those things you could say belongs in one of the aforementioned titles but communication is extremely important and goes hand in hand with honesty. Whether you are in a relationship or trying to get into one, it is necessary that communication is always present and it is always honest.
Several additional pointers: Seriously boys, grow up. Girls, wise up. Boys, never underestimate the mind of a woman just because it operates in a way that doesn’t entirely make sense to you and please be aware that the world has a wonderful way of balancing itself out so, make no mistake about it, all those times you have fucked over a lovely young woman will come back to you. Girls, please stop being so easy to fuck over. I am tired of seeing women in situations that I know are going to end badly for them, even though they themselves seem completely oblivious. Boys, please stop thinking that just because a girl is speaking to you, she wants to have sex with you. Girls, be aware that most boys think if you speak to them, you want to have sex with them. Boys and girls, stop playing games. Nobody wins, in the end and ain’t nobody got time for that!
Jack.
