High Society: Dalton Chapter 3

Dalton was an Account Director, which meant he did very little, other than occasional schmoozing. Today he walked an important client along the smoggy Southbank and towards an expensive restaurant, where he planned to rack up as large a bill as possible. It was on the company after all.

It was ironic that such a misanthrope would be entrusted with a people person role, or be so effective at it. Dalton walked past a homeless man, Joe, and handed him a crisp £20 note. He only did this to show off to his client, but seeing Joe’s brand new mobile phone he had second thoughts and tried to retract this. It was too late. Joe had taken the note and stashed it safely in the pockets of his dirty trousers.

“Thank you my lord”, Joe said, antagonizing Dalton further and returning to his mobile. Dalton told him that a homeless man with such a new phone should sell that before asking for money. His bemused client watched on silently. “But I didn’t ask for money, you simply gave it to me. I thank you kindly for it my lord.”

Dalton was about to retort but wisely led his client away into their fancy restaurant. He vowed to get his £20 back later. It wasn’t about the money; Dalton was a pedant and saw this as a matter of principle. He was so irritated by this exchange that he forgot to order the most expensive main course, which irked him further. He was also inattentive to his client and couldn’t fake his usual levels of charm.

After buying his client off with a pricey bottle of champagne, Dalton tracked down Joe and demanded the return of the £20 note. A small group of tourists nearby turned to watch Dalton and Joe.

“You seem tense, my lord,” Joe said loudly. “When did you last make love to a lady?”

It had been a while since Dalton made love to a lady, and he had set his hopes on seducing the lady with the irritating cat he had nearly killed. She had seemed to vanish off the face of the earth, and an image of the cat’s stupid, fat face leapt into Dalton’s mind taunting him. He blew his top and flew into a foul-mouthed rant, which we won’t repeat.

The crowd shouted and gestured angrily at Dalton, and in the fashion of a Shakespearean jester, Joe launched into a soliloquy.

“This rogue gave me money yet demanded it back. Who would demand money from an unfortunate fellow without a roof?”

The quickly growing crowd now booed and hissed at Dalton, who tried to grab the money from Joe’s pocket. Like an artful dodger, Joe skillfully stepped aside and continued his theatrics. “Swine he is. Bring him to justice kind people.”

“Call the Police”, someone shouted whilst another filmed Dalton on his phone. Realising he was done for, Dalton fled this angry mob. Joe chuckled quietly, before bowing to the spectators who flocked to him. Before long his cap was full of coins and notes and he now had some capital to track down Denny Rogers and take back the Malbery pocket watch.

Written by Martin Stocks | @Stocks1986

Read Martin’s comedic piece ‘how to maintain sanity in a job you hate’.

Next Wednesday: Marion

Chapter One

Part 1: Charlie Malbery

Part 2: Albert

Part 3: Ernest Malbery

Part 4: Ingrid

Part 5: Dalton

Part 6: Melody

Part 7: Marion

Chapter Two