James Bond

Brumbridge takes on TFL



Brumbridge expects the best and he has recently discovered Twitter. Each week we publish Dennis’ demands to real companies and their genuine responses. 

Dennis here. Last Saturday, I woke up in my penthouse, hungover, ravenous and craving a meal that was a mile away from me, in Canary Wharf. And my mode of transport – the DLR – was closed! Most men would give up at this point. But not I.


Several seconds after sending this the hunger pains became unbearable l so I sent a follow up message and was pleased to get a response soon after…
But then TFL went dark. And now, in addition to hunger pains, was the growing fear I may starve to death. Thank God then that this is when a message of support came from a nice Welsh chap I’d never met…

And then more good news from TFL.

My strength was coming back to me, I changed, showered then sent this back…

But it didn’t happen… and twenty minutes later I was stranded in Bank station, weak as a baby and clutching a dead phone. All I wanted was my sandwich but I was now further away from it than when I started. I’m not ashamed to admit I wept. For some time. Finally a fellow commuter took pity, listened to my story then pointed out there was another way (in fact, many other ways) to get to Canary Wharf…

It’s amazing how hunger can cloud your brain! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! And in twelve short minutes I had jumped back on the tube to London Bridge, taken the Jubilee Line to Canary Wharf, I’d burst through my building doors and I had zoomed up to the eleventh floor, arriving with a skid at the fridge. And there I stared. For ages. In utter FUCKING horror.

The most upsetting bit was the exclamation mark.

Next week, Dennis takes on Dyson and appeals for them to quieten their hand dryers…

Follow Dennis on Twitter @BrumbridgeD