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High Society: Denny Rogers
Century Members Club was nearly impossible to get into for a celebrity, let alone for an average person, but this sort of thing never stopped Denny Rogers. Sporting a fake thin moustache and casually twiddling a fancy golden pocket watch, he sat on the roof terrace reading ‘The Grifters’. Right…
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How to survive team building
A Customer Service Supervisor who can’t spell ‘customer’, a humourless Team Manager, pointless games and dull colleagues. Just some of the things I contend with during team building days. I antagonize my patronizing Managers who think they can motivate me with role play games, which they describe as “crucial”. “Addressing…
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When An Awful Day Is Like……………Owning A Horse
In light of spectacular number of falls at Badminton Horse Trials in Gloucestershire last weekend, we at ONIN thought we’d show you horse riding can be like those cruddy days that are wrong from the start. You know those days. The ones where everything is wrong from…
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How to close down the company you hate
I orchestrated an elaborate hoax to shut down the business for at least a day. I turned up early and a van marked “Toxic Waste Solutions” screeched past me. 3 men in nuclear boiler suits ran out, tipped luminous green paint on the floor and cordoned off the building. …
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How to pretend you believe your Manager’s lies
Managers are pathological liars. Most have been lying for so long they don’t even realise they’re lying. You mustn’t let them know you see through them… It’s just as well that I’m also a pathological liar. In my interview I lied about: 1. Planning to stay here for years. 2. …
