The Church St Patrick’s Day Party- Coronet Theatre


I woke up on Saturday morning with a hangover from hell and two mates crammed into my box room snoring heavily. I then realised I must leave immediately to attend an afternoon St Patricks Day rave. Starting drinking so soon after stopping last night filled me with dread.

Outside the Coronet Theatre (it’s not a theatre, it’s a club) were swarms of strangely dressed, drunk people. “Just like any other morning in Elephant and Castle”, I quipped, my natural wit, undimmed by my hangover.

Inside, everyone was searched with a metal detector. I set it off but was ushered in anyway by the nonchalant bouncer. I had no idea what to expect. I walked into the main club area, which was massive. Let’s just say the décor left a little to be desired, but at least it was consistently shabby throughout the club. However, this was a morning/ afternoon of heavy drinking in Elephant and Castle and nobody cared.

IMG_3330[1] (1)

There was a real buzz around the place and everyone spoke to everyone. The atmosphere was brilliant and before I knew it I’d spoken to loads of people. I ordered a can of Fosters, which cost £4! But after all they needed to fund the new paintwork somehow. I was told that if I joined a huge queue I could buy a token for 4 drinks for £15. I told him that I’d rather spend £1 more and get a drink now instead of queuing up twice. “What?” I didn’t bother repeating myself.

The outside the smoking area had the best atmosphere and people painted shamrocks and everyone happily mingled. There were no fights, arguments or disputes, which must be unusual for an event of this size, and shows how good natured the Irish are. After making numerous friends outside, I returned to the noise and screams inside. A male stripper was on stage, for no particular reason, and before long he’d revealed his gigantic penis. I wasn’t prepared to see any penis, never mind such a large one. I got another overpriced can of beer.

IMG_3358[1]As it approached 4pm my hangover had been replaced by happy drunkenness as I sidled out with the swarms of revellers. I day that had started in dread had turned into a very fun afternoon, which I thoroughly enjoyed. I opted for a quiet drink with some friends instead of attending the after party.

As long as you embrace the spirit and talk to anyone and everyone, you’ll have a great time at events like these. I hate clubs, so if I can enjoy it- anyone can.






Reporter Martin Stocks

Tweet me here