Doppleganger

The following may seem far-fetched, but I assure you it is all true

I exited Northampton Train Station and quickly spotted my friend Alastair waiting in his car to pick me up. He had his new girlfriend next to him. I wondered whether she’d like me more than his last girlfriend did. I hoped she would.

As I approached the car I glanced up to confirm it was him. He either hadn’t seen me or pretended he hadn’t for a hoot. I peered inside and eventually knocked on the window. He wound the window down and said, “Yes?”

“How are you?” I retorted pleasantly.

“Fine thanks… Who are you?”

Pretending not to recognise me? Classic Alastair. That’s such an Alastair thing to do. I was annoyed I hadn’t thought of it first, but I quickly joined in on the joke in pretending not to recognise him too. We kept this up for a good few minutes, his girlfriend laughing hysterically throughout. She seemed to be enjoying the joke enormously. I was pleased I was making such a good impression.

When I felt this joke had run its course, Alastair continued to ask me who I was. He was looking up at me with his standard expression of fanciful indifference and mild irritation. Despite his 6ft 4in stature he could never be aggressive, perhaps he was too upper class. He was wearing cut-off jean shorts and a loose fitting shirt. Quite a departure for Alastair, but who am I to judge?

As he persisted to ask me who I was, some may have questioned whether this was in fact Alastair at all. Not me, I know my friends. Plus he looked identical and had the exact same voice and mannerisms as Alastair. His girlfriend continued to laugh hysterically and he continued to ask me who I was. It was now that I decided to step up this banter. “I like your little beard. This is new isn’t it?” I said.

His girlfriend laughed even more hysterically and Alastair continued to look up at me with his usual condescension and weary indifference… I still struggle to explain why I did what I did next.

I reached into the car and started tickling his beard.

It turned out this wasn’t Alastair after all.

Written by Martin Stocks | @Stocks1986

Read my comedic blog How to Man-Manage Your Manager in a Job You Hate.