Bestival 2015: A Festival with The Dance Off: Day 2 Fresh as a Daisy Duke
After waking up feeling a million dollars, checking out the whole site and even participating in some invigorating yoga I was ready to be sister Ass-Pan and join my hillbilly daughters, sisters, aunts, uncles, mothers brothers.
We headed down to Dada, blacked out our teeth with yummy black paint and for some reason hickies seemed to be the name of the game that day (totally not my idea…). Let’s just say I started dancing rather pickled and looking like I had some sort of terrible rash….commitment to the hillbilly cause eh?
2pm arrived and the game was on. Several off us were outside pulling punters in, this was helped by Cousin Darnell deciding to get his mullet cut back in out front. The clippers broke so out came the rusty scissors…
“Free Hickey or mullet anyone? Hey there cousin Sue! We’ve been waiting for yoooo for ages! The whole family’s inside!”
Surprisingly the venue filled.
But how dya start a dance off?
Ya drag two unsuspecting punters in. The more garish/eccentric/drunk/bloody game they are the better. Or you just pick em’ up and chuck em’ in.
“Do you want beats…….
or juuunnnnnkkkk!?” We’d ask.
“Beeeaaaattttssss!”
Bigg Boss Yabba, Micky Bunko Pom the Wheels and Cow Tippin’ Tommy would spin the decks. Always a fucking ttuuunnnneee!
And thus the rambunctious dancing started. On the mic the best hillbillies in town; Dirk and Cleatus. We spent two hours going bloody nuuuuts.
The more fun we had, the more fun everyone else did too. The more of our cider rider we drank, the more fun we had, the more fun they had. It was like this awesome liquor filled circle of fun.
How was the winner decided? Our beautiful crowd of course.
“Who will be the winner? The dude with such tight slacks and erotic lunging that it’s made me question my sexuality or the chick who’s making wanna put my finger up my ass”
The crowd would always decide. Or a super taut pair of tights. Orrrrr a serious dagger off.
By the end we were sweating like fat men at a buffet. Then were let loose into the festival.
The Dance Off guys have been festival-ing for years, so knew a fuck load of smaller acts playing and basically how to have an awesome time. Yea okay from what I remember Duran Duran were pretty sick (“girls on film, girls on film”) BUT it was the hidden treasures that really made us drool.
The Plastic Mermaids. Hell yes.
Let’s just say after that it was an evening of debauchery for all involved and I’ll let your imagination run wild…
This pretty much sums it up….
Dance off moment of the day?
Sue the sexy mamma, hottest grandma this side of Texas. Booooy she could gyrate. Or maybe cousin Daphne’s cartwheel into a dagger, ddaaayymmnn that girls been practicing.
Stay tuned for part 3/4 on Monday! In the meantime here have some daggering lessons and a sexy butt…..
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Check out the Bestival 2015 highlights on Channel 4 here.
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