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How to get away with murder
*** THIS IS NOT ADVICE AND IS OUR COMEDY BLOG, NOTHING IN IT SHOULD EVER BE ACTED UPON *** I decided to murder the Managing Director and frame the Customer Service Supervisor for it. She constantly complains anyway so why not let her see out her final years in a…
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How to avoid murdering your manager
I stare at my greedy, walrus of a Manager and wonder whether today will be the day where I snap. I’ve worked through several stress balls, regularly take prescription painkillers and shout into the sink. These no longer stifle my rage. He stands behind me, looking at my screen and…
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How to maintain sanity in the job you hate
Already regretting retracting my resignation, I now hide in the toilet and shout into the sink for no particular reason. I leave the toilet to find the Manager outside staring at me. I consider telling him that the stifling silence in my office means I have to escape and…
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How to get put on gardening leave
*** Not advice just something to make you laugh on a Monday *** Having resigned I decided I didn’t want to work my notice month. I sat with my arms crossed for the entire afternoon to give them an idea of my work ethic for the upcoming month. “Imagine…
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How to survive a pep talk from the Manager you hate
I had a pep talk from my Manager on Thursday. I called in sick on Friday and resigned on Monday. I don’t like pep talks. I demanded an urgent meeting with two senior Managers to tell them that my £360 pay rise was an insult. I questioned why it’d taken…