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How to avoid murdering your manager
I stare at my greedy, walrus of a Manager and wonder whether today will be the day where I snap. I’ve worked through several stress balls, regularly take prescription painkillers and shout into the sink. These no longer stifle my rage. He stands behind me, looking at my screen and…
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How to survive a pep talk from the Manager you hate
I had a pep talk from my Manager on Thursday. I called in sick on Friday and resigned on Monday. I don’t like pep talks. I demanded an urgent meeting with two senior Managers to tell them that my £360 pay rise was an insult. I questioned why it’d taken…
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How to survive team building
A Customer Service Supervisor who can’t spell ‘customer’, a humourless Team Manager, pointless games and dull colleagues. Just some of the things I contend with during team building days. I antagonize my patronizing Managers who think they can motivate me with role play games, which they describe as “crucial”. “Addressing…
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How to close down the company you hate
I orchestrated an elaborate hoax to shut down the business for at least a day. I turned up early and a van marked “Toxic Waste Solutions” screeched past me. 3 men in nuclear boiler suits ran out, tipped luminous green paint on the floor and cordoned off the building. …
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How to pretend you believe your Manager’s lies
Managers are pathological liars. Most have been lying for so long they don’t even realise they’re lying. You mustn’t let them know you see through them… It’s just as well that I’m also a pathological liar. In my interview I lied about: 1. Planning to stay here for years. 2. …