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How to tunnel out of the office you hate
I’ve decided to tunnel out of this office. On my Manager’s lunch break I lift up their “principles of sales” poster and start chiselling away the paint and plaster with my biro. The scraping sounds are mainly drowned out by the sighs and tutts from decrepit Customer Service Supervisor. For…
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Invest in You!
I think we can all agree that the weekend was officially the start of spring. With temperatures hitting 18°C, London was officially the place to be on the weekend. As I pulled out my favourite summer dress from the back of my wardrobe however, I realised how complacent I’d become…
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A day in the life of Carolyn Owlett
Carolyn Owlett has achieved what many people under thirty only dream of. She has been part of a girl band (The 411), dabbled in presenting (“Sexy girls have it easy”) & modelling, managed broadcast production for ITV and now has set up her own company CleanFeed Media alongside co-founders Adam…
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How to stop nosy colleagues looking at your screen
A nosy colleague who sits behind me desperately tries to see my screen so she can report me to Management. Every company has one of these joyless people and you mustn’t let them see your screen. This gradually decomposing spinster is desperate to catch me on Twitter or Facebook…
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How to Antagonise the entire company
*** This piece is for entertainment purposes ONLY and a good laugh*** One of our rivals recently went out of business and hundreds of people lost their jobs. My Managers were delighted. I decided to punish them for their lack of empathy. I extended this punishment to the entire company…